Photographers Don’t Understand Pressure

I should have know better than to take a tongue-in-cheek swing (pun intended) at golf and golfers yesterday. I described my disdain for the sport and singled out Sam Snead as a photographer-hating prima donna who would try to blame shutter noise (chirping birds, wriggling earthworms, spectator coughing) for missing a shot.

CHS classmate Brad Brune, a self-described “humble golf fan,” took me to the woodshed in a very creative comment. I decided it was worth sharing.

Brad Brune’s comment

Once upon a time….

One of the promising young rising stars in the world of photo journalism, Ken Steinhoff, is on a very important shoot. Many Thousands of Dollars, all your sponsorships, and your national ranking are at stake. Your assignment is to catch a picture of Sam Snead “exactly” as his club strikes the ball on the 18th tee box of the Masters.

You are the only photographer allowed to take this exact photo. Too soon,too late, or off center won’t work, and your successful shoot would be jeopardized. At the very least you would loose several thousands of bucks for missing that essential shot – at that historic time and place.

Hundreds of people surround you and are watching you work. “GO KEN…. YOU THE MAN!!” they shout at you as you steady your camera. Millions are watching on TV and there is a close up of you on every TV screen in America. All is quiet…. just the sound a the breeze in the trees in the distance. Sam starts his 100 mph down swing. You are nervous as hell, sweat is running down you face, and you have your moist finger lightly poised above the shutter button.

BOO!

I sneak up behind you at the worst possible moment and quietly whisper, “BOO!” You jump out of your skin, snap the shot a fraction of a second early and your hands move slightly so that Sam’s head is half cut out of your shot!

That night you are the “joke” on every talk show on cable and broadcast TV. Slow motion video of the exact millisecond you blew the shot are repeated over and over. Every paper in the country has the head line the next day, “STEINHOFF CHOKES…. BLOWS THE SHOT!” Photographic columnists take cheap shots at you because you won’t accept responsibility for blowing the shot saying, “a sudden noise from a fan caused me to loose concentration.”

Had you been in Bush Stadium taking a picture of Stan the Man in the World Series with 50,000 fans screaming…. my little trick would not have bothered you at all. You would have been a rich hero, and the toast of the town.

There is no comparison Ken.
Brad
a humble golf fan.

A photographer’s rejoinder

Photographers are the one group who have to literally keep their focus no matter what kind of chaos is happening around them.

When you’re shooting what should be a routine traffic stop of some armed robbery suspects and suddenly someone shouts, “Get the photographers!” that’s a little more unnerving than someone whispering “BOO!” while Sam Snead is swinging.

Lens hood being ripped off

I’m proud to say that this photo, taken seconds after the one above, is sharp, even as the trooper rips the lenshood and filter off my camera while he’s trying to take it away from me. THAT’S focus. (The hood and filter are the round, dark and light objects in his palm.)

Trooper attack from another angle

Palm Beach Post Staffer C.J. Walker captured this frame of the lens hood flying through the air. One of these days I’ll publish the whole sequence and tell the complete story.

The short version is that by the time the incident investigation was finished, the Florida Highway Patrol adopted a media access policy that has become the model for public safety departments all over the country.

So, while I won’t say that every photo I’ve taken has captured the peak action, been sharp and exposed properly, I’d say my powers of concentration are pretty good under real life pressure. Let’s see how well Sam Snead putts in a burning building, while being attacked, in a hurricane or while being teargassed.

I agree. There IS no comparison.

Ken

A humble photographer

[What happened to the trooper, you wonder? My very own newspaper named him Lawman of the Year a couple of years later. I can only assume that what happened here was an aberration or that the editors of the paper thought the trooper had the right idea of how to treat photographers.]

 

Elsie, This Is Your Life

I bet you thought I was going to write about my mother, since it’s Mother’s Day. Well, she certainly deserves it. If I got my work ethic from my father, then I got my spirit of inquisitiveness and adventure from Mother. Where did SHE get it?

Elsie Adkins Welch

She got it from HER mother, Elsie Adkins Welch. My grandmother was a petite woman, who was almost always perfectly coiffed and neatly dressed. She was an inveterate clipper of poems and inspirational pieces that she would work into speeches and letters. (She’s in the middle of this photo.)

Grandfather loved fishing and cigars

My grandfather, Roy, was an short, portly, amiable man, who loved to fish and puff on Roi Tan cigars.

When he moved in with us after his health failed, I asked him why he never looked at any of the fishing magazines I subscribed to, preferring, instead, to devour murder mysteries.

“If I read about fishing,” he said, “it would only make me want to go fish. I can read a murder mystery without wanting to go out and kill someone.”

Roy didn’t like to drive. Truth be told, he wasn’t very good at it. My grandmother, on the other hand, would do things like take off on a 10-day tour of the West with three of her buddies. (More about that later).

This Is Your Life

Gran, as we called her, was active in Eastern Star, was a Worthy Matron and founded a chapter of Past Worthy Matrons. June 4, 1962, the group recognized her with a This Is Your Life program. I think Anna Bidewell was responsible for putting together most of this information, although margin notes make it look like several other women either helped or read portions of the program. With only a few notes from me, here is my grandmother’s life as told by her friends.

Exciting times in Tillman

There were exciting things going on in the hills of a little town named Tillman on the morning of Sept. 24, 1892. On this fall day was when Elsie Lee was born to Willis and Mary Adkins. This was a house full of girls, because this made five, with Chloe, Ollie, Pearl and Iva.

Went to school in Pleasant Hill

Before long, your father opened a grocery store. Now, the town was growing. This made two stores and a blacksmith shop. In due time, you started school at Pleasant Hill. One of your teachers was a man named Monroe Harris. They say you were a live wire on the playground. You were full of mischief. It’s a wonder those tiny trees ever grew to be big and tall because that was a real good trick to ride the saplings at recess.

Polly wants a cracker

When you were 12 years old, your family moved to the big town of Advance. Your father opened a store across the street from the Advance Flour Mill. There was a parrot usually hanging on the porch in his cage. All we could get him to say was “Polly wants a cracker,” but your mother could get him to say lots of things.

My, how the kids envied the Adkins girls – why, Elsie could get anything she wanted without paying for it because they had a store.

Getting a bonnet in Cape

One of the big events of your early life was to go with your father to the big city of Cape Girardeau to buy supplies. Of course, this was by wagon. On one of these trips you bought a new bonnet at Miss Doyle’s Hat Shop, which was quite a thrill in those days. You finished high school in Advance.

Don’t go to Leopold Picnic

Your father and mother made a trip to Illinois to visit relatives. They gave you firm orders NOT to attend the picnic at Leopold with that young man Roy Welch or you’d really be in trouble when they returned. Later on, you said, “That was the best picnic Leopold ever had.”

Decided he could support a wife

There was a wedding on Feb. 29, 1912. You became the bride of that young man, Roy Welch. He was working at Dr. Cook’s drug store and decided he could afford to support a wife. You left on the noon train to a honeymoon trip to faraway Cape Girardeau and stayed at the hotel near the river.

You have to CLEAN the chicken?

Returning, you took a two-room apartment in the west end of town. One of your first meals was baked chicken. You worked all morning getting everything fixed just right. They say that, as meal time became closer, you began to smell something peculiar. By the time Roy came home, there was no question about the odor. You didn’t know that you were supposed to clean the inside of the chicken as well as the outside. But, with lots of experience, you became an excellent cook.

At other times, you wanted to prove that you were a real good housekeeper. One day when you were really busy, the neighbors thought it was snowing. On second thought, they knew it was a little late for a snow storm, so they investigated. It was just Elsie emptying the feathers out of the feather bed so she could wash the tick.

On March 25, 1913, a black-headed baby boy was born and named Kenneth Adkins Welch. You thought your happiness was complete. Soon after, you moved to a farm in the Little Vine community. There are lots of stories about the ice cream and watermelon parties held under the trees.

Mary Lee born in 1921

Nine years later, on Oct. 17, 1921, a baby girl was born. She was named Mary Lee, after her two grandmothers.

In 1924, you left the farm and moved back to Advance to open a business on Main Street. And, remember the big white house you moved into? With the big screened-in porch, so nice for all the parties, for young and old. We knew we would be greeted with the smell of fresh cut flowers, sweet peas in little crystal baskets here and a pot or geraniums there… they were all over. Everyone enjoyed going to the Welches.

About 1926, you were my Sunday School teacher. You had a class of teenage boy and girls. Each time that I needed you, you would give me you advice. What you said made me stop, listen and think twice.

[Editor’s note: the broach above is the one she’s wearing in the old photo.]

First trip to St. Louis

You took me on my first trip to St. Louis. Remember how we had to get out of the little Ford and walk up Null Hill? Felt like we were going to roll backwards down that mountain, but felt real good when we got to the top. After reaching the top, we climbed into the car again and went on our way, counting and taking down notes on the names of every little creek and bend in the road. This wasn’t a trip; it was a journey.

Things ran smoothly until the year of 1935 when tragedy struck your family in the form of an automobile accident that took the life of Kenneth. Time stood still for awhile.

Mary Lee married L.V. Steinhoff

On Jan. 7, 1942, you gained another son – Mary Lee was married to L.V. Steinhoff. You enjoyed each other very much. You all enjoyed many vacations together. But, some said they doubted if they were filled with as much fun as the one you took with Mabel, Lillian and Daisy.

On Trip to Yellowstone

[Editor’s note: I have an undated Missourian clipping that says, “ON TRIP TO YELLOWSTONE.” Leaving Sunday for a ten-day trip through the western states were Mrs. Lillian Ackert, Mrs. Roy Welch, Mrs. H. Zimmerman and Mrs. L.O. Reutzel. They will stop in Denver and Colorado Springs, and Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming.” To say this was unusual in that day and age would be an understatement. I remember crying when they left town because I wanted to go with them, so I had to have been around three, which would have put the trip in about 1950.]

Three Grandsons come along

On March 24, 1947, your first grandson, Kenneth Lee was born. He was your pride and joy and still is. Seven years later, David Louis made his appearance. You were still hoping for a granddaughter, but in 1956, another boy came along, Mark Lynn. To you, these are the greatest.

Joined the Eastern Star

In 1933, when you had some time on your hands, you petitioned the Advance Chapter of the Order of Eastern Star. In 1948, you became Worthy Matron of Advance Chapter 412. This was in the old hall over the bank. I shall never forget the faded wallpaper on the walls and the worn rug on the floor. But, that night, it was sparking clean and the Star Point chairs were all covered in white.

In your acceptance speech, you said in your precise and charming way, “The hall looks just beautiful. Beautiful. The paper doesn’t look faded anymore, nor does the rug look worn. From here in the East, it looks perfect.” Your daughter approached the East that night and presented you with a lovely basket of flowers.

You loved to talk

This was an outstanding year for all. You loved to talk and you had many speeches to give, so you had a ball. It was a lot of work, but you enjoyed every minute. Remember getting ready for company night? How hot the fire had to roar to get the old place hot. Tons of flowers were carried into this old hall to make it brighter. You loved to surprise us on chapter night. Remember popping a bushel basket of popcorn and carrying it up the long flight of steps? And, you always remembered our birthdays.

You gave me my first job in the Eastern Star. I was a new member, but I stood meekly in the shadows holding a spotlight on the scenes of This Is Your Life the night Vallie Bollinger was installed as Worthy Matron of the Advance Chapter.

Founded Past Matrons

In 1949, you were fast approaching the rank of Past Matron. After much meditation, you began to organize a Past Matrons Club, of which we now claim you as its Mother, not in age, but as its founder. “All thing start from someone’s dream; All things worthwhile were in dreams first seen.”

In 1955, you retired from active duty because of ill health, and you moved to Cape Girardeau to live with your daughter. But, your family says you are there in body only, not in spirit – Advance is the only home for you.

Roy Welch died in 1957

In 1957, the Death Angel once again visited your home, calling your husband, Roy.

But, with the three grandsons, Mary Lee, L.V. and the old spirit, you still have what it takes, attending our club meetings and Eastern Star whenever possible, even through rain and snow.

So, on this night, we nominate
And to do this I will not hesitate.
You’re a lady of prominence, I might say
Devoted to our Club and beautiful Order every day.
You’ve made a ladder that shall span the sky,
For deeds of love shall never die.

Elsie, This Is Your Life.

Elsie Welch died April 17, 1973

Elsie Welch died April 17, my Dad’s birthday, in 1973. She was a wonderful lady and I miss her.

 

Birthdays and Scrapbooks

Based on best wishes I’ve received from friends on Facebook, a lot of folks thought it was my birthday yesterday. Because Bad Guys use social media to sniff out all kinds of personal data I will neither confirm nor deny that.

Y’all have figured that I’m a bit of a pack rat.You might have figured that out when I posted Valentine’s Day cards from elementary school.

I got it from my parents. Being the firstborn, everything associated with my young life was recorded in detail in a number of scrapbooks. By the time Number Three, Bro Mark, came along, his scrapbook just said, “See Previous.”

This wasn’t just Mother’s project, either. That’s Dad’s handwriting. When I really dive into the Baby Book, I’ll post the great diary he typed of my early years.

Make no bones about it

When I say EVERYTHING was recorded, I mean EVERYTHING

First Birthday

The house trailer that moved from town to town while Dad was building roads and bridges is behind me.

What are you doing with those balloons?

Birthday cakes are cool. This was shot in my grandparents’ yard in Advance.

OK, one balloon is fun, but what is my grandmother, Elsie Welch, doing behind my back?

Once I figured they were trying to launch me into the air, I decided a protest was in order.

Celebrating higher education

There are a bunch of me dressed in a cap and gown and holding my Trinity Lutheran School Kindergarten diploma. I think my parents were afraid that might be the only time I’d wear a cap and gown, so they wanted to make the most of it.

Actions have consequences

On what appears to have been my sixth birthday, I made the mistake of (A) wearing a funny hat and (B) chewing with my mouth open.

The next thing I know, I’m dressed with some kind of funky collar around my neck (left) and dragooned into a Trinity Lutheran School play with some equally excited kids.

I recognize, in no particular order, Jerry O’Connell, Della Heise, Cheri Huckstep, Judy Schrader and, maybe, Bonnie Strom.

Career Choices: Jockey?

Before long, it was time to think about career choices. Dad made it clear that he didn’t want us boys to follow his tracks into the construction business, so he first sized me up as a jockey. That wasn’t a good fit.

How about cowboy?

I tried the Hopalong Cassidy look for about a year, but that was too much like my jockey experience. Not for me.

How about  the Air Force?

This was my favorite outfit. I still have it. We dressed Grandson Malcolm in it when he was the right size. It’s as close to military service as I ever got. (Except for that trip to National Guard camp.)

Trust me, this is NOT the last time we visit my childhood scrapbooks. I haven’t looked at them in years, but they contain a wealth of photos worth sharing.

Learn from others

Learn from others: that was the most important lesson I learned in my childhood. I found this expression equally useful against recalcitrant public officials, obstreperous editors and tight-fisted vendors.

 

 

a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing!

Marty at Lake Worth Street Painting Festival

For the fourth year in a row, Cape Girardeau artist Marty Perry Riley (CHS class of 68) was convinced to leave the snow, sleet and rain of the Midwest to come to Lake Worth, FL, to participate in the Lake Worth Street Painting Festival February 26-27.

Largest of its kind in the U.S.

The organizers claim the festival is the largest of its kind in the United States. About 400 artists come to South Florida to create masterpieces on blacktop with chalk. The streets become an art gallery for two days, then are wiped out by traffic on Monday.

Commissioned by Dedicated IT

She was commissioned by her nephew, Adam Steinhoff, to produce the art for his company, DedicatedIT, a computer networking company that provides managed services for businesses in South Florida.

Lion theme

Marty chose a lion theme for this year’s drawing. Last year she drew irises.

Crowds enjoy watching artists

Thousands of spectators wander the streets watching the artists, listening to music and sampling foods of every type. It was a perfect Florida February weekend.

Thanks to Wife Lila, Son Matt and Sis-in-Law Marty for the photos. I was on a bike ride on Lake Okeechobee where I saw more gators per mile than any time in years while the festival was going on.